Paréntesis cinematográfico

Don't miss Lars von Trier's film "ANTICHRIST", one of the most impressive, impacting and deepest films this year, really exciting (not for faintly spirits or "rosy bubble world" addicts).

Photography and camera are excellent, light and colors are fluid they hypnotize the audience. And of course Dafoe and Gainsbourg, what an extraordinary couple!!

Fata morgana (Wie bitte!?)

What is the whole history about the river, the case full of gold, the quiz show, the piranhas, etc, etc,etc. Well is a metaphor (have you ever heard?) or I would even dare to say is a parable (have a look at Wikipedia.org if you don't get the difference), 'cause I was like Jesus in the middle of the desert with the only difference I couldn't resist the temptation, oh boy!

Ok it was not really humble comparing me with such a holy well known figure so I shall amend and say that I didn't manage to cross the swamp without getting stains, is better so?

Everything was going quite right and quiet, no upsets, no turbulences, no existential crisis, no self destroying feelings not even a hobby! Too good to be truth, isn't it? Well it was no truth but a fata morgana (oh come on, just look at wikipedia.org and stop asking me stupid questions!). The supposed normal life was not really so normal and I realised it until I've seen the shining gold coins laying in the deep and the excitement was so big that I decided to spring off the boat without

thinking that it was possible to use a net and get the fucking coins without missing the boat! Don't you get the message yet? Well: I could have enjoyed the gay-being-thing without given up my former life, I mean coming out without jumping in an empty pool. I was a successful student, I had succeeded in joining the foreign service in México (yes sir, I was a diplomat for 15 years), I had done some interesting research work during those years (about international politics, mexican foreign policy, etc) and my work was appreciated from many of my superiors as well as from some of my colleagues. I was doing it pretty good. Was it an intelligent decision? Well no for sure, it was completely emotional and irrational combined with

adverse circumstances at the moment (the first really hard conflict during my carrier with a fucking bitch that was my superior in that time who managed to cause me such damages that it would take me years to recover my "carrier").

The fact is that I had enjoyed so much the gay life during the years in the foreign service in Europe that I (stupidly) thought everything would be washed away if I leave Europe (as it could only be possible to be gay in

Europe, nonsense!). I didn't want to give the gold coins back so I just saw the

boat going away and kept the heavy case.

You may be thinking "Honey dont give me that shit, you are contrtadicting yourself. You first said you didn't give the fuck for your past and now you are saying it was everything right and then you runied it, that means you're being nostalgic. Go away!!". Well not exactly, let me explain it...but in the next post, this one is getting toooooooo long. It's time for a coffe break.

The mess, in good german: der Mist

You may be asking yourself why the gay-being-thing (resuming our former posts and main theme of the blog) is the reason for the whole mess and very probably your're thinking "look there have been millions of gays in the world along history and they haven't done such a shit like you, many of them have been even successful. There is no excuse young man, no mercy for the weak souls!". Oh thanks a lot for the "young man" thing, I very appreciate!

Well I have to admit you're right and that's exactly my point guys: it is not fair that my-being-gay-thing has caused such a mess when actually there is no reason for it. I could have been a very common normal gay with a fitness club membership, frequent flyer in Easy Jet, discount card for all Clinique products and receive regularly the Calvin Klein catalog for the summer collection instead of having a tempestuous life. That's why I'm asking

for a second chance, is not big deal. Hey this is not fucking "Deutschland such den Superstar" thumbs up or down and Tschüß! So hold the shit and give me just a few minutes to explain my self.

Try to imagine you are rowing along a river and suddenly you see in the deep a case full of gold coins. Question: what do you do?

A) You inform it to the police (the river is in Haiti);

B) You ask the passengers on the boat next to you if the case belongs to them (they are Putin's body guards);

C) You take immediately your Blackberry phone out and take a picture to up-load it in your recently created blog (in www.Alqaida.com).

TIC-TAC-TIC-TAC-TIC-TAC-TIC-TAC-TIC-TARARARARAAA!!!!

And the right answer is: you just throw away the fucking oar and jump in the water to pick up the fucking case!!!!!!!! Who could resist such a temptation? OkOkOkOkOk, who else as well as Mother Theresa? Certainly not you dearest reader :-)))))))

The problem is when you come back to the surface the boat is not anymore there, the stream has taken the bloody boat away so you have to drag the heavy case full of gold coins to the river bank,

but you happen to be in the middle of the widest part of the river, a water fall area is approaching, the damn stream has become stronger than it was few minutes ago (just to kick you in the balls) and the piranhas haven't eaten in the last three days . Disgusting isn't it?

Don't miss the next chapter fellows!

Bad habits

Why, why, why, why????? Yes why is it that I NEVER read the instructions when something new comes to my hands!? Damn! I've been trying for 2 months to insert the images in the text without messing up the text. It was quite simple: I just had to click any of the 3 options in the "Add image" button: right, center, left. I'm such a bad example for all those ones who want to become a german citizen. A good german would read all the instructions and directions and then, not before, would this person dare to type a character in a blog, not to mention the risky job of including a PICTURE (panic X n) in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that I have lernt how to insert pics I can go on with my Berlin second chance story. But please before we continue our tour along my miserable past it is very important to make something clear: don't misunderstand me when I get ironic about the german guys. They are really nice people, friendly and very correct, they would never betray you nor pull your leg, they are as we say in spanish "de una pieza", Vollkommen (a really beautiful word to mean that something is perfect or ideal). I have to say it loud that during my "Einburgerungsantrag" (germanification:-) they were absolutely friendly and helpful, they even called me to advise me in some issues to optimize the process of naturalization and were always very flexible with deadlines for documents delivery and appointments.

It is just that I have the awful habit of making fun about people and being cynical. So german guys, if one day you read this shit (what I sincerely doubt) don't take me serious at all, is just my big mouth,you are KLASSE no doubt about it!!

Día de muertos! / Guten Tag Totentag?

Well guys, today after a really long break I decided to resume my blog (nobody has red the shit until now but who cares, it makes some fun) because today is a very special day, or I should rather say a very mexican day (more mexican than the 15th of September):

día de muertos!! YES!!

Since it is a post about a mexican issue that actually only the mexicans can understand I will write it in spanish because neither the germans nor any other foreigner would get the fuck about it!

El dia de muertos en Berlín no existe o mejor dicho en el norte de Alemania no existe, en este ámbito protestante la muerte no tiene cabida, no forma parte de la vida cotidiana y en general se actúa como si no fuera el destino inevitable de cada persona, no encaja dentro de los estándares de perfección deseados. En Berlín el 1 y 2 de Noviembre no son feriados (en el sur de Alemania sí) Desde el ano 2000 éste ha sido uno de los muchos choques culturales que he tratado de superar sin mucho éxito. El horror y el rechazo a la muerte que imperan en Berlín rayan en lo anormal, sin mencionar la cara de espanto que ponen cuando se hacen bromas o se ironiza con respecto a la muerte. En una ocasión hace muchos anos le ensené a una buena amiga brasilena una calavera de azúcar con mi nombre y se rió por un buen rato; lo mismo hice con una persona en Berlín y como primera reacción me preguntó si yo padecía en ese momento una depresión; después de que le "expliqué" que es una tradición, blablabla...pasó a la parte académico-antropológica para enfrentar con toda seriedad el tema, desde entonces no le he vuelto a ensenar mi pinche calavera a nadie en Berlín que por cierto ya se perdió, hoy la busqué para refrescar recuerdos y no apareció por ningún lado (la habrá tomado en secreto el antropólogo espontáneo para profundizar sus estudios?)

En fin, lo esencial es que me hace mucha falta el día de muertos de México con olor a copal, color naranja, sabor ahumado y corrientes de aire.(No compré calabaza este ano porque el precio está por los cielos: más de 3 euros el kilo!!!!!!

Me fui de espaldas)

Pero calma! Este es solamente un paréntesis cultural-sentimental (tal vez porque acaba de pasar mi cumpleanos me puse un poco nostálgico). No he olvidado el tema central del blog: porqué me atrevo a pedir una segunda vuelta desde Berlín?

Por cierto, me agradó mucho la idea de escribir nevamente en mi propio idioma así que en adelante seré menos estricto con la consideración hacia los no-hispanoparlantes (bien pueden aprender espanol como yo aprendí inglés o alemán) además de que nadie está leyendo esta jalada así que da igual en qué idioma escriba.

En el próximo post seguiremos adelante con nuestro tema, no se lo pierdan!