"I don't know why but I'm feeling so sad..."

Actually I DO know why (sorry Billie Holiday), it's as usual a silly situation due to my lack of concentration as well as my stubbornness. Since I'm living in Berlin, have my own small business in Berlin, my friend lives and works in Berlin, I pay taxes in Germany and I have to accept all the rules and laws of Germany, I decided for practical reasons to get the german citizenship, so I got my german passport in July 2009. As the german authorities explained me I'm "german" in Germany, in the whole European Union and all over the world except in Mexico because for Mexico I'm still a mexican citizen due to a double nationality agreement between both countries, what I find quite reasonable and convenient. I KNOW I'm mexican and I'll be mexican forever no matter what kind of passport I have! I have no problem with that. But the conflict situation comes now that I'm going to Mexico for the first fortnight of February 2010. My mexican passport has already expired so I was this month of January to renew my passport at the Mexican Consulate and it happens that my new, quite modern photometrical (or whatever) super safe passport will be ready not before the second week of February! That means I'll be ASHAMED of myself and travel to Mexico with a german passport instead of a mexican passport, I want to die!!!

Not that I think that the german citizenship is a shame, please don't missunderstand me, nothing like that. But the fact that as mexican I travel to my own country with a foreigner passport is for me just completely embarrassing!! I can imagin the custom authorities looking at my passport and then looking at me with despecting gaze "what the fuck with this blody ass...is he ashamed of being mexican?" oh my God such a scandal, I can't bear it. Qué pena penita pena.

But I have to admit it was all my fault, I knew my passport had already expired but I didn't pay proper attention and I didn't go before to the Consulate, I've just waited until the last moment (as usual) to apply for a new one. I thought it would be a matter of a couple of days but since we have the super-safe-electronic-photometric passports it takes about a month to get a new one! So I have to travel in my own country as a foreigner, outch!

At last!!!!!!

Someone has red my blog that's amazing! Thank you Paul you're my hero mate. Keep reading and even write some comments I don't care if they are friendly, destructive, insulting, interesting, what ever. Oh boy I still can't believe it, I have a reader!!!!!!!!!!

(double happiness)

This is really important, never give it up

When you don't even have the right to talk about whatever you are feeling or thinking (without hurting or defaming anyone) you are shit or beeing handled like shit, so be careful take care it doesn't happen to you and take the proper steps to avoid it, you can always find your way out of such a situation. Once the very famous and

intelligent mexican singer Chavela Vargas, asked in an interview what would she wise the young generation she answered: "Never ever give up your freedom, it is the most precious thing you

have. But the price you have to pay for it is the solitude". So it's up to you! Life is made up of hard decisions as well as big rewards.

Business as usual...

Ok another year has just passed away and another one has just begun but nothing, absolute nothing has changed, so what was the stress to celebrate new year's eve?